It was like pulling teeth...

Today the kids had to go to the dentist for their 6 month cleaning. I should've known that things wouldn't go well when we got a call several weeks back from the dentist's office saying that we were overdue for an appointment when I had a card with the appointment's date and time on it right at my desk. I had scheduled them the last time I was there. So I called them up and straightened things out. They wound up switching the time. Oh, and the receptionist? Very bitchy.

I woke up early and noticed that my eyes were weirdly puffy and quite red. I wondered what fresh hell I stumbled into this time. I hate my allergies. I slapped on some de-puffing cream and didn't bother with makeup. I look very scary.

I left a bit early to pick up the kids at school. I go to the attendance office to sign them out and to let them know that they'll be coming back after. In the office is a teacher who I've seen around, but didn't know. He turns to the women in the office and asks, "Here's something I've always wondered.. How do you know for sure that it's actually the parent getting the child?" just as I'm signing out the kids. This causes everyone to turn and look at me. I crack a joke about picking up more compliant kids than my own and wait. The Boy comes down quickly, but The Girl takes longer. She totally forgot that she was coming back and dragged everything but her desk with her. I shuttle them into the car and off we go.

We get to the dentist's office a few minutes early for our 10:00 appointment and I shoo the kids off while I deal with the very same bitchy receptionist from that voicemail weeks ago. I settle down with my copy of Watership Down-- still reading when I can-- and we wait. And wait.

The first hour went by pretty quickly. The kids were flipping through magazines and chattering. I had my book. But then, during the second hour, things began to sour. We were stuck on these little bitty kiddie stools and I wasn't comfortable sitting with my knees hovering near my ears. We all got fidgetty. It was around this time that The Girl started telling me the time. Every five minutes. "Mom, it's 11:15 now... Mom, it's 11:20 now... Mom, it's 12:05 now..."

Whenever I asked her the purpose of this exercise, she would just shrug and tell me the time again. I handed her a magazine and told her to read. That was when I noticed The Boy ogling a rather voluptuous female vampire in a video game magazine. I helped him flip the page and got a scowl for my helpfulness. I turned to my cell phone to vent my resentment. It seemed to be the trend in the waiting room. One person gave up entirely and rescheduled. I grabbed the couch before anyone else could. Ahh..

It wasn't until around 1:00 that The Boy was called in. Things went rather quickly there on out. I got some reading done. All I can still say about the book is....it's a book about bunnies. The kids got their cleaning. No cavities. Just before we were going to make a run for it, I'm told that they need to come in on Thursday. They want to put a sealant on their molars. I whimpered and asked about an afternoon appointment. It seems that I go to the only dentist in the world who doesn't have afternoon appointments. They said we got the first one on Thursday. Maybe we'll get out by noon next time..

Anyway, since we'd been so long at the dentist's the kids missed lunch entirely. They were thrilled with the stop to Burger King, but not by my orders of "Less talking, more eating. Maybe you'll get in an hour of school today." Which is about all they got. And I get to do it all over again on Thursday. Aren't I the lucky one?

Oh, and I found out that they need a trip to the orthodontist, too!